Saturday, March 27, 2010

Life Sarcasm

So, it's 0300 and I can't sleep because I have acid reflux... awesome pregnancy!  There is also a ton of things on my mind that have to do with getting ready for Emmalyn.  As I was looking online for some craft ideas I ran across this and started laughing out loud (then I realized Caleb was asleep just a few feet away and I should shut up).  

I think #1 and 20 are my favorite.  Enjoy!

How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car w/sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4) Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN."

5) Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

6) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

7) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

8) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

9) Hold open automatic doors for people.

10) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for smuggling diamonds.'

11) Send an e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."

12) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're "not in the mood".

13) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"

14) When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

15) Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

16) Order a diet water whenever you're out to eat, with a serious face.

17) Insist your co-workers address you only by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

18) When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up."

19) Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".

20) Whenever you answer the phone, do so in a french accent, and slowly change it to a japanese accent.

...And, because this is my blog and I love pictures (even if they have nothing to do with the written post) here are a few pictures I  took yesterday of a dandelion.

Kayla : )

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