Gripe Session

WARNING!!!  Lots of self pity ahead...


Everyday, for the past four months, as I get ready for the day I tell myself to give it a little more time.  "It" being weight loss.  Well, I'm an inpatient person.  I always have been.  And everyday is getting old.  Will I ever feel pretty again?  Will I ever look like myself again?

I love being a mother and I love Emmalyn so much, but I hate what having her did to my body and the camera does as well.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I'm not complaining about my body without trying to change it... However, I could be doing a lot more, but I'm not doing nothing.

I have a wonderful husband who still loves me and tells me that it doesn't matter if I was 800lbs he would still find me attractive - psh!  Yea right!  If I can barely stand to look at myself, how could this amazing man want to look at me?

I want to blame it on the breastfeeding, but I know that's not it.  I know what I have to do.  I just needed to vent.  Then I think about all of the other things in life that are so much more important and I'm humbled.  Instead of getting angry at how I look I should be thanking God for the fact that I have the ability to use my arms and legs and change it.

I guess I'm sill the same person inside, just a bit more squishy on the outside : )