Saturday, September 18, 2010

A New Mother's Realizations.

Time is already going by so fast!  I was warned this would happen.  I can't help but look at Emmalyn sometimes and see her 15 years from now and play scenes in my head of conversations we'll have or things that happened to me happening to her.  It's so strange to think of this little, precious, can't even talk yet, child growing up into an adult and dating and driving and having her own children.  

The other night I was coming home from work and Tim McGraw's My Little Girl came on the radio.  Not only is this one of my best friend's favorite songs (miss you KB) it means more now that I have my own child.  As the song was playing I could see visions of Caleb and Emmalyn in the next few years and how she would grow and how our love for her would grow so much and what it would be like when some boy did come to our door to talk to us about marrying what will be our very beautiful daughter.  And then I thought about how my dad felt when Caleb did they same just four years ago.  M dad loves and respects Caleb so much, but I know it was hard for him to give another man permission to be my number one.  I understand now and I'll understand even more when it happens to me.  

I worked a lot this week.  It was so hard.  I cried a lot.  Even though Emmalyn stays with Crissy while I'm at work and I trust Crissy so much and love the love that she and Brandon have for Emmalyn, I'm still her mom and no matter what anyone says I can do it better.  I do it right.  Because I'm her mother.  Whatever it is.  I love her more than anyone else does on this earth.  And that love only grows by the second!  

I am excited and curious to see how this gift from God will change in the coming years.  What she will be like.  What activities she'll do.  What career she will strive for.  But for now, I'm perfectly content with my constant drooling, toothless grinned, bobble head, wide-eyed, 2 foot bundle of joy!

Kayla : )

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